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You will still argue and still have moments of total frustration. So be prepared before you get back into the dating game. Or maybe the relationship will not work out and your trust is broken. It takes time to become emotionally open to understanding that trust begins with your relationship with yourself and then flows out to others. When you lose your spouse you often re-examine what love really is. You may feel unlovable and even be afraid that you will never be in love again.

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Quick relationships, quick marriages, divorces, only to land in the same position alone, but this time emotionally scarred and with major financial impact. Is it worth the effort since the consequences of failure are high for me personally and for my relationship with my children, family and friends the few I have? A widowed friend told me that men have a tougher time with loneliness and are quick to find a new partner. Most men think they can duplicate what they had. This should be easy, there are loads of woman looking for a guy like me!

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This is widowers of both the past and of widow new you might meet. Widows give yourself a reviews — if your attempt at dating ends in tears, be kind and patient and applaud yourself for having given it a go. That’s the way forward. Hilda Burke is a West-London based and psychotherapist, who works with clients on a broad range of issues, including bereavement, infertility, addiction, abuse and depression.

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